A reflection from Val Cannard:

Why would, or rather, how could anyone fight with God? That's the question that was in my mind the first time I heard the story of Jacob's wrestling match. Yet, over the years there have been many times that I have argued/wrestled with the divine.

It would start with a simple prayer: “Please God, help me obtain this particular item or goal,” or “Please God, help me with this relationship,” or “Please God, help me solve this problem,” or “God, what is it you want me to do?”

I wait and wait and there is no reply, or rather the reply is“No” or “Not yet” and I just don't want to hear it. The prayers continue more fervently with perhaps a bit of bargaining or questioning. I recall one time asking a friend, “Why would God put such a strong desire in myheart and then make it impossible to accomplish?” As I cried, my friend just held me close and quietly said, “God's time is not our time.”

As we walked the 500 miles of the Camino de Santiago, I prayed and listened, wanting clarification on what direction my life was supposed to go. At the end of that trip, I was still uncertain and I felt like Elijah who also wrestled with God. I hadn't found or heard the answer I was waiting for in the storms, in the many churches, on the mountaintops, in the miles of silence, or the many conversations with people we met on the way.

In the past few years, I have had many opportunities to participate in a spiritual practice called “lectio divina,” in which you listen quietly to a Bible passage and after the second reading of it you share or reflect on a word or phrase from that passage. For me, the word from the story of Jacob wrestling with God in Genesis 32 is “daybreak” and I am wondering if it refers to more than just the rising of the sun.

Jacob and Elijah both struggled with God in the darkness, but when they finally let go of the struggle they were no longer in the dark. They could see the light. There was clarity, strength for the journey that lay ahead, and the blessings.