Advent is always the season of the church calendar I look forward to the most. It’s also the season in which I end up the most disappointed in my preparation. Every year I have great intentions of spending time reflecting, and reading a devotional, faithfully having family meals around the table where we light the Advent candle each night.

But it all seems to get lost in family activities, preparing Christmas cards and photos, attending holiday parties and school performances, decorating, and of course, shopping for gifts. This year’s Advent season started off the same for me…good intentions about inner reflection and spiritual preparation lost in the hustle and bustle.

But then something happened that shook me. We found out our beloved priests were no longer allowed to celebrate communion with us. How could this happen, and in the middle of Advent of all seasons???

I went through the usual gamut of emotions the first few days: sadness, disappointment, anger, and back again. It felt as though this season of giving had been turned into a season of deep loss. This really derailed me from the usual holiday preparations that distract me and I found myself spending more time each day reflecting on what this means for our community.

While I still feel the deep loss that comes with this decision by the Catholic Church, I also feel there’s a profound gift here as well, both personally and for our community and its growth.

From a personal perspective, I’ve never done more spiritual reflection on the meaning of Advent than I have this year. I feel reconnected to my faith in ways I had taken for granted. Despite my best intentions, and failures in the past, this period of reflection happened as a result of outside influences. And I’m grateful.

As I’ve spent time reflecting this season, the following thoughts and themes keep coming to my mind:

Hope, anticipation, and new life have always seemed to be fundamental themes of Advent. Although there is some accompanying anxiety, I feel extremely hopeful for our future as a community, mainly from the statements I have heard so many of you make. We can’t have something taken from us that is only ours to give, and that’s the relationships we have with each other and to our God. I find myself anticipating a bright new future and looking forward to the rebirth of this community in whatever form it takes. That has even caused me to reevaluate my financial commitment to our community, and I intend to invest more than I had planned in 2024 to be surrounded by the community, spiritual leadership, and values that are meaningful to me.

The gifts of the Magi for baby Jesus have also been in my thoughts. What gifts have I been given this Advent season? I think about the relationships I have had with our priests, past and present. Perhaps the current gift is that I’m appreciating what they have meant even more. How blessed we have been. But I also think about what a gift the Catholics have been in our community. I feel richly blessed by the perspectives, personal practices shared, liturgical elements, and friendships. It has been so gratifying to be in a community building bridges between faith traditions, and I expect this to be an even bigger part of the future we are headed towards. The world, now more than ever, needs examples or relational bridges rather than walls. And, the relationship Lutherans (and other traditions) have with the Catholics in our community has also taught me the most important thing about being a Christian…the things we share in common as Christians far exceed the importance of our doctrinal differences. (I may have to get that tattooed somewhere)

Thoughts about the plight of Mary and Joseph on a cold night seeking a place to stay, with an imminent birth at hand, has me thinking about existential crises and change. As much initial anxiety as I may have had about what the recent events mean for our community, it pales in comparison to what Mary and Joseph must have been feeling. And just as they found a safe harbor in a stable, I know that I find safe harbor in our community and in my relationships with each of you. Spirit of Grace has been my stable for 25 years. It just took me this season of Advent to appreciate it for what is, has been, and will continue to be.

The Star of Bethlehem led a small gathering of people to the birth of Jesus. In the last week I have wondered what the Star of Bethlehem is calling me toward in this season. What is it calling our community toward? For the Magi it was a long journey to find out. For Mary and Joseph it was a 9-month period of waiting and preparation.

It will be a process for us too. Perhaps that should be our takeaway. We won’t have answers at the speed of a smartphone. We’ll have to hope and anticipate as we discern what our future holds and what new life will emerge for us as a community.

Whatever our future holds, I feel blessed to know you’ll be there with me.

This has been my most meaningful Advent season ever. I think I finally understand the meaning of it for me. I’m looking forward to the journey with this community knowing that I’m surrounded by the gifts that are all of you.

As you wrap up your Advent season I would encourage each of you to similarly reflect on what this community means to you. What gifts have you received? What gives you hope? How is this community unique for you? And to what destination do you feel we are being called?

Peace be with all of you and your families and friends this holiday season,

— Chad Darby, Steering Team co-president